I often reflect on seasons in my life where I surprised myself, pushing through challenges to accomplish something major. (Am I the only one who uses past me as motivation?)
One of my most defining experiences was pregnancy and birth - a journey that not only taught me enduring lessons but, if we're being completely honest, may have helped me beat the terrifying odds of maternal mortality in the United States.
As a Black woman facing a system where we're three times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes, and 80% of deaths are preventable, this wasn't just personal growth - it was legit survival. Now more than ever, we must look out for each other where we can to share knowledge and resources.
Here are three key insights that helped me beat the odds, in no particular order:
Trust Your Body
Pregnancy was my ultimate crash course in listening to—and trusting—my body. Instead of fearing the unknown, I leaned into education and preparation. Here are a few resources that I would revisit in the future:
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin ($22.99) - Recommended by my birth class instructor, Amadoma Bediako of Healthy Start Brooklyn. (Side note: This eight-week class is free—an amazing alternative to expensive courses or winging it!)
Global Health Media Project. Their birthing videos were empowering. (And let’s be for real: The U.S. birthing culture? An abomination. We deserve so much better.)
Spinning Babies. I bought their Parent Class Video Digital Download ($26.99), which broke down labor in such a simple, fear-dissolving way. Their site has tons of free and paid resources.
Breath work and stretching became non-negotiables. I discovered The Miles Circuit two days before birth—a series of stretches to encourage labor. Did it work? What I can say is that sinking into those stretches melted away tension, letting my body do what it needed. And breathwork? It got me through laboring at home, contractions on the way to the hospital, it kept me focused between pushes, and proved that mind over matter is real.
Choose Your Care Team Wisely
Not all doctors and hospitals are created equal. Research:
Hospital C-section rates
Your provider’s philosophy on interventions
Whether they prioritize your needs (not just protocol)
Your doctor has the expertise, but you can advocate for yourself. A good birth class (like Healthy Start’s) and The Birth Partner can help you and your support person navigate this.
Protect Your Peace
Pregnancy is the ultimate time to enforce boundaries. You can’t avoid all stress, but you can prioritize joy, laughter, and calm. If someone in your life excels at keeping things light, delegate the job of guarding your peace to them. (And remember: Chronic stress impacts fetal development—so this isn’t just self-care, it’s science.)
Final Thought: How to Use These Lessons in Your Own Life
Giving birth was my ultimate crash course in preparation, trust, and resilience; our bodies are capable of incredible things when we prepare, trust, and advocate for ourselves. Whatever big challenge you’re facing (a career change, a creative project, a personal transformation), try this:
Trust Your Body: Tune into your instincts. When something feels off, pause. When it feels right, move confidently. Prepare, but don’t over-research to the point of paralysis. (I read just enough to feel empowered, not terrified.) I also indulged in positive birth stories on YouTube.
Choose Your Support Team Wisely: Surround yourself with people who respect your goals—whether it’s a mentor, therapist, or friend who won’t let you self-sabotage. Vet experts (doctors, coaches, financial advisors) like you’re hiring for a life-changing role—because you are.
Protect Your Peace: Stress will come, but you get to decide what (and who) drains your energy. Say no early. Delegate when possible.
Breathe Through the Hard Parts: When things feel overwhelming, return to your breath. It’s the simplest reset button.
Thank you for taking the time to read this week’s post! Take care :)
